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Seneca Guns

by Kenley Young

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1.
Mia's Field 05:20
I cling to levees, pumps and dunes-- A plot of slag. My whole backyard’s an alien moon, With a foreign flag. But I’m keeping track of my attempts. I dug for ages in this field, Spun my wheels in earnest. I scanned the gauges for some yield In this oppressive furnace. I painted beiges on my shield And kept my weapons burnished. Don’t know what I was trying to prove. This land is your land; my claim’s void. I lost my say. I cannot keep the health employed Or you at bay. But you’re not the monster that I’ve dreamt. I dug for ages in this field, Spun my wheels in earnest. I scanned the gauges for some yield That all my labor furnished. I painted beiges on my shield And kept my weapons burnished. Don’t know what I was trying to see. I wouldn’t let myself be sated Until I’d savaged all the land. The yoke I toiled under forbade it-- Too many acres for one hand. The dirt lay fallow as I wept And took on freight. The landscape shifted as I stepped. That’s real estate. I’m keeping everything unkempt.
2.
Signal 05:00
Don’t you suppose some eyebrows rose? You had a past and I don’t look for those. Word where we are works way too fast. When it became fortune and fame-- Once I discovered how to govern lame-- My crime was I’m not built to last. You can’t sit still; you’ve gone too far. Is it that much better where you are? Why is my signal breaking up? So when I try, when I begin, Tell me what a fool I’ve been, And I’ll wake up. And being clever never charms, Once I know his highness won’t be harmed. And now it’s all yesterday’s news. Tearing the skin is only cruel If you don’t use the very sharpest tools-- Just out of reach and out of view. When you leave these things to me And smaller wheels of industry, You realize quickly you were wrong To put things back where they belong. We both should take a solemn oath When wishing makes it hard to stay afloat-- If there are even wishes to fulfill. Each myth I grew up with came true, And we saw the damage they can do, But I’m the only one who’s standing still.
3.
Was the picture out of focus? Was I faking? Oh no. Maybe I just didn’t notice-- Were you shaking? Oh no. You kept your cool. I kept my temper. Start with a bang, and end it with a whimper. Oh no. If we mentor all alike, then Are we all thieves? Oh no. Did you hint at your regret when You let me believe? Oh no. The burn and fade of promise-- I can’t tell where one ended and the other started. Left dumb, with my insides asking, “What just happened here?”
4.
Firefighting 03:25
In one unguarded moment, The impulse can ruin the man. And that has made all the difference-- There are words you won’t say that I can. Daisy, your bike’s built for two. Take me firefighting with you. Every buzz, bell and whistle Conspires to be some kind of sign. These emergencies matter, So make an example of mine. Mary, I know your garden grew. Take me firefighting with you. We won’t finish until we’ve extinguished The nasty flames that hem me in. I pray for rain and ill-gotten gains, But it’s you. Mary, it’s talk, and it’s all true. I’ll be firefighting with you.
5.
Cuts You Up 04:57
6.
Gonna scrape you off my slate, Let you hold me to your bosom. Gonna lick you off my plate, Introduce you to my custom. It’s just like we rehearsed, And the arrow goes right through. You can do your worst, And so help me, I mean to. It’s not the fires but the freezes that hold sway When we’ve both made up our bed. You’re no good to me in pieces anyway, And I’m no use to you dead. Set my candle in your sill And fold your arms akimbo. Leave pretenses where they spill And lie with me in limbo. Your foundation starts to splinter When your kingdom grows too bold. Don’t cling too close to my center When you know it cannot hold.
7.
Duessa 03:21
As fetching as the fair sex gets For bleary-eyed romantics’ wits, I fancied myself quite unfit-- Too vulgar for an adult mind, Too common for Duessa’s kind. But I found words that made things plain And winter in a giving vein. I gathered what stern stuff remained-- Too thorough to leave much to fate, Too schooled to risk my whole estate. I might as well be blind, So, Duessa, guide me, too. And where I failed before, I shall succeed with you. I’m ill-advised and ill-equipped, But far too real to stay tight-lipped. Duessa drinks; I’ve only sipped. Too thorough to leave much to chance, Too schooled to lean on circumstance.
8.
Before the war, the noise was in my head-- My paramour, my muse, my daily bread. "You slept an autumn by my side"-- A season low and deep and wide-- You spent a lifetime by my side. Before the war turned ugly, I was sure. And I was clean, though not exactly pure. But late at night, the noise keeps me awake-- Forgotten how to live without an ache. You decent people with your plans, You cannot hope to understand. This is no place for hearts or hands. “A truth that’s told with bad intent Beats any lie you can invent.” And absence makes the heart grow darker-- Oh, so much darker.
9.
New Lows 03:30
The light’s been faint now for so long-- It’s been so slow to dim and fail-- It might not ever really die at all. Is that worse than living in the dark, When I’ve got just enough light left To see that I can move but have to crawl? I am in the throes, And if I have hit new lows, Then let the lid be sealed. We’re on a level field. I spat back and fought, And I did what you could not. My eyes were never closed. They say to strike first at the heart-- You should attack instead my spade ’Cause down here, nothing else will scare cold men. It’s not for fear I’ll tunnel out; It’s fear that I’ll dig deeper still, ’Til everything above me crashes in. Some wretch inside me fights for ground. He sees allies all around And no reason he can’t win. Sometimes I lie down when I’m spent And stare up at the firmament. I wonder if “escape” is the right word. Why rush to get back to a place Where dreams are spoken but ignored? At least down here I know my dreams aren’t heard.
10.
Once, I was mighty--such a specimen to look on. Things most would struggle with came easily to me. I took it like a man would, and I took it without asking-- Made believers out of those who’d disagree. I’ve lost my composure-- Can’t keep it all together. I feel it slipping right through my hands. I lost my mates to punk rock, and I chalked it up as childish. At 28, I’m on the path I ran from at 16. I lost all my grounds to their weak wills and base temptations, But next to all my foolishness, they’re clean. I’m in front of the choir, And I’ve never confessed That, at best, I’m a liar-- But the absolute best. I’m in front of the choir, And I’ve never confessed. Go ahead, kick the tires. I’m at my best.

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released November 11, 2016

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Kenley Young Los Angeles, California

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