1. |
How to Bite Down
03:01
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So much anger in you still--
And it fires off at will.
Your world is shaking from the sound,
And I can't make you put it down.
I can't fight us both at once
With my lame heroic stunts.
The silver tongue to me endowed
Did not work then, and it won’t work now.
The good fight resumes,
And I will bite down--
'Cause you've made no room.
Knives out.
Once were symbols on my back.
The wicked trembled in their tracks.
Still they trust in evil things
That tear men down with darts and slings.
But be they live or be they dead,
You grind your ax to make your bread.
Such a lonely way to live--
Can't get close, and you can't forgive.
The good fight resumes,
And I will bite down--
'Cause you've made no room,
And I’ve come around ...
To the worst mistakes
That made us afraid,
When the only real mistake
Is to forget they were made.
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2. |
Ghosts
04:07
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As silent midnight seized your place,
I stayed awake to watch your face.
That would have stood out anywhere.
Not even midnight had you there.
And nor did I,
Though covers cling below your thighs,
And I watch their rhythmic fall and rise--
We're rising.
Maybe cleanup ends up helping you the most.
I expect you take that liberty when you're the host.
If a fling is not a love affair, it's pretty close.
I just want to silence all my ghosts.
You look so delicate undressed--
Like physics answered my request.
I'd play "Achtung Baby" and rehearse
'Til I learned every single verse.
This fevered pitch
Propels the privileged and the rich,
And I fear I can't tell who is which--
We're rising.
I'm proud, proud, proud (though I'm not being very loud.)
I'll gladly take what I'm allowed.
It's so safe in here. (That's half the force that drew us near.)
That's half the force that drew us near.
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3. |
My Armor, My Mercy
04:18
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Beware of vultures bearing gifts,
And mind the lookouts we can take in shifts.
We'll swallow those who get too close
And learn to join the side that pays the most.
The minute that I lay my armor down,
Someone's gonna turn to me and say,
"The old you would have never let me drown."
And I will have to turn that friend away.
There is no right, there is no wrong.
There's only pain for those who wait too long.
Go back to bed; I'll rescue you
When I'm sure it's convenient for me to.
The minute that I lay my armor down,
Someone's gonna turn on me and say,
"The man I knew would have never let me drown."
And I will have to turn that friend away.
There's always right, there's always wrong.
The catch is I'm not one to play along.
Give me fuel to get things done,
And I will cast my lot with anyone.
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4. |
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You can stop throwing your weight around.
It will not help you here.
No light gets in, and nothing makes a sound.
The sky is never clear.
I can't squeeze blood from the ground.
It's dead; it's not just slow. (Dark and barren, cold as stone.)
It’s buried; it’s not just low. (Turn the dirt and turn up bone.)
I should've come here years ago-- (Here below.)
A place where nothing grows.
I pull the hearts out of ambitious men.
They have so much to learn.
I will not lie down or play nice again.
I will not wait my turn.
You don't know how long it's been.
I should've done this years ago--
A place where nothing grows.
This hard land gave me
Nothing but a drought.
This garden saved me,
So why should I come out?
Maybe I'm the one who put me here,
But you are why I stay.
I should've built this years ago--
A place where nothing grows.
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5. |
Seen and Discovered
04:08
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It's like I birthed an industry,
Blaming every sinner here, save me.
I know I threw the switch; I gave the order.
The sticky guilt is withering.
I tried to smash it all to smithereens.
Maybe you came up short; I came up shorter.
I've seen enough to know that no one's clean.
That much was blue/red on your screen.
I've seen all roads I take start from that night.
But I've discovered I'm no light.
I was in a foreign realm,
Neither by my guns nor at the helm.
And in some perverse way, that was a kindness.
That night I drove home, speeding--
My knuckles and my spirit bleeding.
Was coming back just one more act of blindness?
I see I'm young, but then I've seen so much.
And I have made that act my crutch.
I've seen some beasts that have me fit to burst,
But I've discovered I'm the worst.
Since there are worse things in this world to breed than fear--
Since I was flailing, and since grief was gauche that year--
Since it feels better to lash out than sit back down,
I slouched right back to town.
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6. |
To Term
03:54
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I was a prince when you met me--
A dreary empire stretching far as I could see.
Now I find myself a stranger in my home. (The one I built with my bare hands.)
Living for your look, I'm common, and I'm error-prone.
I'm bringing this to term--
Making the good men squirm.
Harder and faster and firm,
I'm bringing this to term.
I think that on your bedroom shelves (Among the ivy, rocks and weeds)
There's room for only those who look out for themselves.
I know all about the type who call a lot (And they're all talk and harmless deeds),
Who're insignificant in every way I'm not.
I fought so hard in the dark.
I don't have what it takes for that spark.
There's no incentive to behave--
Not if this is all there is.
No one good reason to be brave,
When I see your hand in his.
How much is left of me to save?
Depends what parts you miss.
I built a lock that works too well. (It will not yield for wolf or lamb.)
I keep your secret that they all want me to tell.
The water is wide, but I’ll cross o’er. (It’s not as angry as I am.)
My true love waits and waits and waits on yonder shore.
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7. |
Standard Candle
04:10
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I know it's not the same for you.
You've always been a little too tender.
You owe it to yourself to look first to your health,
But I know you'll let this eat right through.
There's no conspiracy you must undo.
And no one's trying to touch what you've engendered.
Things die on the vine, and the call I made was mine.
So put away the plans you drew.
You say all sin is trespass or betrayal.
And if that's so, then I was doomed to fail.
I know you need a target now.
I wish that I could figure how to be one.
These things you can abandon, but can't ignore your hand in.
So add that to your furrowed brow.
Should I not be defending him?
He obviously knows a gem when he sees one.
So get it out your system. He may lack your wisdom,
But I'm who tore you limb from limb.
You say all sin is trespass or betrayal.
And if that's true, then we're all doomed to fail.
You planned to follow me until the very end.
You say you've touched no one the way you touched me then--
I spoiled you when I took you and drugged you on my taste--
You feel no heat with anyone and keep nothing you've chased.
At night, I've seen you driving by,
And even parking under my window,
I've seen your wires and handles, and as your standard candle
I know you set the bar too high.
Your compass tells you that there's victim and there's thief.
You wonder why I'm not a party to your grief,
As if you'd have me scream what everybody knows:
I'm sorry from as deep inside me as it goes.
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8. |
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I think I might have seen the future, after all.
Or at least I know what's next.
I'm either gifted or I'm just a lucky guess,
Or else I'm reading from the text.
So I know how this ends.
My visions might be cruel,
But they're not that bizarre.
So I cringe at night
When his hands are touching you
Like I know they are.
His fingers navigate your body like a ship.
They roam the grooves of every fret.
His breath is hot and fast and flush against your neck.
Your hair is matted with his sweat.
So I know where it leads.
It's so familiar now
That I think it's a scar.
So I cringe at night
When his hands are touching you
Like I know they are.
So I was warned, but somehow unprepared--
With spirit bold, but flesh that's very scared.
Now that my winter's gone and spring's laid bare,
I promise not to look ahead again.
I saw this coming. Now I see it every day.
I don't think it ever stops.
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9. |
Turn Me
03:11
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I've already rolled up my sleeves,
So don't grow a conscience on me now.
This isn't the time, and you can't just leave.
Don't try to do right when you don't know how.
I promise I won’t put up a fight--
Won't cry out for help or hesitate.
See, I could be lethal at this height,
But I have to become the thing I hate.
It's a face I can wear if I loosen a notch.
I'll try not to stare, but I do want to watch.
There's no other way that this can go.
Surely you know that much by now.
Look me in the eye and tell me no--
That I can survive these wounds somehow.
You don't have to make this quick.
I just want the greed to stick.
You're not my nurse; you're not my guard.
So don't let up, and lock down hard.
I'm already halfway free,
So pour all your grief in me.
I have nothing left to rob--
I have you; finish the job.
I'm poisoning everything I've grown.
I'm wallowing in the peace that brings.
I want you to turn me into stone.
They tell me I won't really feel a thing.
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10. |
It's Over When I Say So
03:43
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There is a line,
There is a threshold,
A point at which the pain won't dull.
I've made theirs mine,
Sunk others' vessels
And drugged myself into a lull.
So it's over when I say so.
You'll stand still, and you will swing low.
You will not leave this house,
The one you forced your way into--
Not until I've had my way with you.
I'm sometimes genius,
Sometimes jackal,
Even when my aim is true.
The heat between us
Hums and crackles,
And I know you must feel it, too.
To hear you beg for release
Makes all the pounding increase--
Knowing you gave me
Not one moment's peace.
I've thrown in with knaves,
Joined all lost causes,
Crossed every line that I knew there to be,
But stand to save
My greatest losses
For the day that you let go of me.
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11. |
Any Closer
04:46
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Any closer, and you leave me no choice but to pounce.
It's no grosser than stealing me in small amounts.
Why not just take it all at once?
No questions asked. No lines; no forms.
Any closer, and I'll be forced to drop my guard.
I'm a poser, and my will is a house of cards.
With just one breath it could collapse,
When all I do is pray for storms.
When we're dancing, I can't save the day.
There's just my defense and my hope
That like all things it, too, will fade away,
And I can tear the envelope.
Any closer, and I can't be blamed for my next move.
Hand on holster, I feel the creases and the grooves.
"Stand back. Leave everything to me."
That used to work. That used to count.
When we're dancing, I can't save the day.
There's just my defense and my hope
That like all things it, too, will fade away,
And I will leap without a rope.
You're no Girl Scout,
And let's be honest,
I've done my fair share of harm.
I have no clout,
But I believe
I was yours to cleave.
You had me ready to bet the farm.
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12. |
Ferrari
04:00
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It was so lacking in skill,
I had to write the word down
So I could carry it 'round--
So I could bend it to my will.
Bet he was pleased with it, too.
That's how those metaphors work--
You give their strings a good jerk,
And then they do the rest for you.
I don't pretend I was right.
But I had a reason to pry.
You were pulling away, and I knew
I had to find out why.
I've been everything I feared--
In the way until I got stale.
And I did it all so well
I'm a cautionary tale.
It wasn't anything new.
But it was something to see
That you think so little of me
You let the gimmick continue.
What made you slum it this way?
To keep it all so flat?
To cozy up to a soul
As unremarkable as that?
A little red corvette--
You'd think he'd know it was theft
Or how much mileage was left
And how much more eloquent I get.
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